“The Dog Days of Summer”

Did you know that the dog days of summer were once considered a good thing?  A time to lay back, be lazy, it was too hot to consider doing any sort of real work.  Now, we think of the dog days as the bitter, humid end to a summer that isn’t exactly ended yet.  90 degree days and 70% humidity at night.  Hell, when it rains it just feels sticky since there isn’t enough cold to freshen everything up.

Anyway, like the delicate flower I am, I cannot bear the mix of heat and humidity.  So I’ve been desperately trying to keep from melting and doing a fairly poor job of it!  So I have been curled up, in the blessed dark, fans on high and not a stitch on, reading.  Oh and the things I’ve been reading!  Sons of the Profits tells the (not so glamorous) tale of how my favorite city in the world began (that city, obviously, being Seattle).  Good Time Girls tells the sordid story of just how integral “seamstresses” were to the growing logging and mining community in our fair city.  And, just to round out my sexual education, I’ve picked up The History of Sex.  There was NEVER a time where women were delicate and fainting, men were chivalrous and neutered, and no one ever talked out of turn or did “nasty” things.  Let me just tell you, the Greeks, Romans, Turks, and the British have ALL done some things that would curl your nose hairs.  It’s amazing.

So, what’s coming down the pipe is this: I have a very special “Ask Mag” article I’m trying to hammer out, so that might be a while, I am gleefully typing up my own short handed account of “Good Time Girls”, I think it’s time for another sexy sex toy review, and maybe a poem or two memorializing just how dewy one’s bosom can become when she is reading erotica in the summer swelter.

Just a tid bit to tide you over, my lovers and dreamers.  Wish for rain!

Writer’s Block? More Like Writer’s Iron Curtain!

Lovelies, I have no excuse for denying you the dubious pleasure of being inside my brain.  I am at a complete loss as to what to talk about that I haven’t already beaten into the ground, and I am not quite at a spot yet where I can discuss book-y goodness.

BUT!  No fear, I can at least help tide over the visual lusts!  Behold, a few snaps from my most recent impromptu photo shoot!

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Health Update

Hello my lovelies!  I have been receiving emails from some of you inquiring about how my various health issues are progressing.  I am genuinely touched at the amount of caring and empathy you all are sending my way, and since I believe that building strong relationships requires a bit of honesty, I thought I’d put this update here instead of replying to the tens of emails.

 

I have yet to see my neurologist (the VA hospital wheels turn slowly), but my physical therapist (PT) has given me some rather ridiculous-looking stretches to perform multiple times a day.  If you see me arching or doing some weird flexing thing with my hands and arms, that’s what I’m doing.  She’s also given me a mandate that I not lift more than 10 lbs at any given moment, and attempt to keep my wrists and elbows straight.  Push ups, pull ups, and the random intricate hobbying that I sometimes do (origami, crochet, etc) are right out.  Of course, I don’t intend to follow all of her rules to the letter (I’m only human!) but I will appreciate everyone’s understanding if I seem to ease off certain activities to save my wrists.  The good news is I am in very little pain, and as soon as I get a proper computer (instead of my trusty MacBook Air) I’ll be able to subdue one of the bigger triggers in my hands.  Apparently, proper “computer desk” posture is difficult to achieve with a laptop.

 

It seems that when one part of the body acts up, the other parts get jealous and start acting up, too, like squabbling children!  I’ve been battling arthritis in my shoulder and hip for a year or so, and this new nerve thing seems to have brought all of that to a head.  Now, you all know me, I’m as tough as I am fun, so I’m not exactly turning off my active lifestyle just because a few joints can’t seem to get with the program!  What I AM doing is modifying a lot of my more favored activities to better alleviate the more problematic joint issues.  What does this mean, realistically?  The use of my “sex wedges” will be more evident (and hey, who DOESN’T like a good sex wedge?), I’ll be modifying my arm locations for certain, ahem, positions, and I will be taking breaks in between the fun to stretch out.  (Bonus, I’m told I look just like a cat waking up from a nap when I stretch and writhe)

 

Before anyone decides to play doctor, I am on a low dose regimen of anti-inflammatory medicine, and using non-narcotic pain medication as needed.  I am refusing to wear braces on my arms OR legs while I sleep (honestly, who can do that?!), and I’ve changed up my diet to be more paleo-centric (though not a pure paleo diet… a girl can only give up so much).  I am looking into herbal boosters, but as it stands my multi-vitamins and my drug regimen seems to be doing a pretty good job.

So, just to wrap it up:  I’m fine.  I promise.  I am a tough cookie and stubborn as hell, and I don’t want these little hiccups to affect our play time together.  If you all start treating me like a delicate flower I might throw a very un-lady like hissy fit.

 

 

(Oh, and I was just kidding about playing Doctor.  I have a stethoscope and VERY warm hands.  We can play Doctor all you want… 😉   )

Just a little something to tide you over!

**Small note before we begin today:  Please don’t attempt to schedule time with me through my blog.  I have email, I have a phone number.  Please use those.  Thanks!**

 

 

Did you know that scientists have figured out what scent drives a woman mad with lust?  Can you think of what that might be?  Is it the musky scent of a hard-bodied fireman after a day of saving lives?  Is it the downy, creamy smell of a newborn?  Maybe the absolutely masculine aroma of roasting meat?

 

Nope!  It’s licorice!  Actually, black licorice candy like Good and Plenty.  Before you guys get up in a huff, let me say that pumpkin spice and cinnamon top the list for men’s arousal.  Why do you think I decided to get my bake on!?

 

Seriously, though, scent is one of the first senses we develop after we are born.  Scent has been said to be the biggest memory trigger.  Think of your childhood home, or a relative you loved but have lost.  I’ll bet one of the first things you’ll recall is the smell of the musty attic or that Great-Grandma always smelled like those little caramel candies.  To this day, black powder and Obsession always bring me back to a certain someone in my life.  Now, the smell of silk and cedar really get my blood pumping!  (that’s what most vintage clothes smell like… FYI)

 

Here’s what I will be baking in the next few weeks, what do you think?

 

Salted Caramel Apple Hand Pies

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Sugar Cookie Cups

sugar-cookie-cup

Lemon Tarts

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And that’s why they call it “Just a Taste!”

How I Celebrate My 1-Month Mark of Smoking Cessasion

Hello, my darlings!  Today’s post, I confess, is being written on October 2nd, 2012.  Why, do you ask?  I am trying out a new form of behavior therapy where positive planning turns into positive actions.  So I am trying to train my brain into expecting a particular outcome, so that I will naturally do that positive action!  (did that make sense?)

Today, I am celebrating my 1 month mark of quitting smoking.  Now, for my fellow smokers out there, I will not become one of those sanctimonious so-and-so’s who decry their former vice and somehow vilify all those who are still smokers.  I hate those people, ugh.


For my lovelies who have NEVER smoked, I hope you will give me a bit of leeway and be understanding.  We all have vices, and some are easier to give up than others, just as some are more damaging than others.

Some of you may remember when I announced publicly that I was quitting smoking last year.  It was a valiant attempt, but I caved after a few days.  As they say, you have to be ready to quit for it to work.  I am now finally ready to quit.  So, because I love them so much, here are some bullet points salient to my quitting:

  • This is my 4th attempt at quitting smoking.
  • The longest I have been 100% smoke-free was 25 weeks, or 175 days (combined Combat Training and School in the Army)
  • I am not using a Nicotine patch or gum because they make my heart race
  • A client gifted me a lovely e-cigarette from blucigs.com that is very fun to use
  • I am using replacement techniques to combat cravings during trigger times (big latte in the morning while driving, bubble gum during the day and after meals, more vigorous sex so I’m too tired to get up)
  • Because they are all non-smokers, my circle of friends are very supportive
  • I have planned out rewards at certain intervals to reward my persistence of being smoke-free

Another way of keeping in line with smoking cessation is to list my personal reasons for quitting:

  • Smoking causes my skin to wrinkle and break out
  • Smoking causes me to wheeze when I jog
  • Smoking causes my hair and clothes to smell of smoke, no matter how careful I think I am
  • Smoking costs me a significant amount of money better spent elsewhere
  • Smoking yellows my teeth and makes me look older than I am
  • Smoking annoys my friends
  • Smoking in winter is hell, since it’s freezing cold outside and usually raining

And, finally, the best part!  Setting personal goals (and rewards!) is integral in the successful smoking cessation program, especially for someone like me who enjoys the ritual and habit of smoking, rather than so much the nicotine dependency.

  • At one month:  A spa manicure and pedicure with paraffin dips and massage
  • At three months: A professional teeth whitening treatment
  • At six months: A full body skin treatment; massage, exfoliation, mud wrap
  • At one year: All that money I’m saving up, I’m buying my first brand new car
  • At five years: Buy a condo?  Travel the world?  How about, climb Mt. Fuji in stiletto heels!

Now, as positive as I am trying to be (and as stubborn and determined as you all should know I am) I know I will slip and fall down.  I need to avoid my triggers and replace them with something benign, I need to recognize that even if it doesn’t seem to, I really am improving my health, and I need to always remember that proper sex kittens don’t need cigarettes to be smokin’ hot!

I don’t normally ask for feedback, but I would love it if my readers would speak up if they have kicked the habit or are currently trying.

On One Hand…Masturbation…

I’ve JUST read the most amazing article from the Scientific American Mind.  It discusses, in fair detail, the whys and hows of human masturbation, and why we seem the ONLY ones who do it so frequently.

In this column presented by Scientific American Mind magazine, research psychologist Jesse Bering of Queen’s University Belfast ponders some of the more obscure aspects of everyday human behavior.

On the topic of sexual dreams:

…if you really want to know about a person’s hidden sexual desires, then find out what’s on his or her mind’s eye during the deepest throes of masturbation.

This conjuring ability to create fantasy scenes in our heads that literally bring us to orgasm when conveniently paired with our dexterous appendages is an evolutionary magic trick that I suspect is uniquely human.

via One reason why humans are special and unique: We masturbate. A lot | Bering in Mind, Scientific American Blog Network.

(for the new few minutes I’m only going to cover male masturbation.  I know, I know)
But wait, there’s more!