How To Survive A Cancellation

Hello lovers and dreamers!  I do hope that you are enjoying the fantastically sunny day here in my favorite city, and it is just so sweet of you to come by and visit!  Today’s post is a bit tongue in cheek, a bit ribald, a bit, well, just funny!  Know that there is no malice behind this post nor is there any bad blood.  Let’s laugh together!

However…

Cancellations just suck, don’t they?  As a provider, I spend a good hour or so getting ready for every appointment, not to mention the hours it can take “off the clock” to schedule with someone new. So to have my hopes of sexy fun dashed last minute (usually due to unforseen circumstances, truly) just puts a stutter in my day.  It’s natural to feel bummed out, maybe a little frustrated, even miffed.  BUT!  As it happens, I’ve come up with some pretty fool-proof things to do to boost up that mood a bit, and maybe feel like you haven’t simply wasted an hour (or more) of your precious time!

 

  1. Practice a new make up technique: I’m so boring with my makeup.  Concealer, powder, eye shadow, liner, lipstick.  It’s all the same, I can do it in my sleep (well, no I can’t but you see the hyperbole for what it is).  No matter the fun pictures or “so easy!” how to’s I find on YouTube I never seem to pull the trigger and actually try something new!  So, this time I decided to go an entirely different direction with my eye makeup and highlighting. Maybe you learn something new (pastel pink is a good color on me), maybe you learn a new trick (hide under eye circles with yellow pigment!), maybe you fail miserably (I can not be trusted with traditional liner pencils. I will ruin them in my quest to sharpen them perfectly) but here’s the good news: NO ONE has to see it or even know about it! You’ve just eaten up at least half an hour!
  2. Find an involved hair tutorial and test it out.  I know this sounds the exact same as number 1, but trust me, it’s way different (and takes up way more time) This is how I learned to perfect my victory rolls cheat. (photographic proof below)
  3. Dust under something. No, stay with me! If you are anything like me, I spend a good 30 minutes or so before an appointment sweeping, dusting, wiping down or fluffing up things so it looks neat as a pin.  I organize, I stack, I even out and fold.  But there is something that I’m not really proud of: I really dislike wiping down my baseboards.  Call it a mental block, call it laziness, but I just don’t. like. it. So, I have decided that when I get stood up for whatever reason I resolve to do at least one round with my fancy duster thing on my baseboards.  If you regulate that one distasteful job to a (hopefully) rare occurrence like a cancellation or no show it seems far less daunting, right?
  4. I’m not even going to sugar-coat this, but get some “self love” time in!  (OK that was still pretty sweet) One of the best pieces of advice my mentor gave me was to always, always, always be excited for your engagement.  Now, most might have taken that to mean get amped up, look pretty, treat him like a long-lost lover come home again.  However, MY mentor was a crazy sex freak (in the best of ways, holla lady!) and spelled it out for me: m-a-s-t-u-r-b-a-t-e. Before every engagement. Not necessarily to completion, you of course want to save all the extra fun stuff for when you are together, but it’s the best way to get that alluring glow in your cheeks, that heady aroma in the air, and hey, masturbating feels awesome, why wouldn’t you do it? So, if you have an hour to kill, maybe it’s the perfect time to rev up that dopamine and oxytocin generator and go to town!
  5. Take a nap.  This might just be me, but I love naps. Need I say more?

 

So there you have it, darlings, five spectacular ways to take the sting out of a cancellation.  Now that it’s getting to be gorgeous again we can probably add to the list “take a walk outside” or “read a book on the roof” or “go pick flowers in the park”, but I wanted to keep things pretty specific to in doors and in studio.  I can’t lie, with the odd engagement fizzling right at go time, I’ve had a lot of time to think about these things. You can’t ever be disappointed if you have a proper back up plan!

 

(Oh, and here’s my little experiment with victory rolls.  The secret hack is to pull the side hair out at almost 90 degrees then curl it -back- and pin)

Image

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