Did This Sentence Catch Your Attention?

They say that a catchy title filled with buzz words is the best way to get people to read your blog.  No one wants to read: “This is how my day went” but if you put in “Hit-and-Run, how I learned humans bounce” something tells me you will go past the jump to see just what the hell this person is talking about.  (The “jump” is the internet equivalent of the fold in a newspaper, pretty much)  In my loathsome absence of this lovely blog I have been researching just how to grab my readers’ attention.  Buzz words, topical sentences, funny quotes and outlandish claims all top the bill to “hook” a reader.  The body of work then must live up to the title, which is where a lot of bloggers (me included!) fall short.  I meander, as if we were having a one-on-one conversation.  I’m told people like that kind of writing, feels personal and intimate, but at the same time I want my readers to be engaged with what I am writing.  Voyeuristic, titillating, and informative are my new words to measure my posts by.  If I can’t make my readers feel those things, I need to figure out just what to do to fix it.

In keeping with my new-found verve, let me explain what is to come in the next few months and how I plan on keeping your attention:

  • My Love-Nest is officially open for business!
    • Some of you may know that for the past three years I have been sharing one of the most luxurious spaces to entertain in.  As much as I adore that space, it has come time for me to take charge of my time and have my own space.  This allows me more flexible scheduling, the ability to take last-minute and same-day appointments, and it also gives you gentlemen the option of calling me or texting me!  I strive to be as accommodating as possible to my lovely gentlemen, and I hope that you will fall in love with my new space just like I have.  It is centrally located between Pioneer Square and the Central District, with ample free parking.  It is easily accessible from both I-5 and I-90, and is ridiculously easy to get to.  Come and see my amazing view!
  • Complete website overhaul!
    • I take pride in my website, as anyone can tell.  I have taught myself no small amount of code to make sure that every bit and byte is absolutely perfect, and I go over the text with a fine toothed comb more often than is probably healthy.  I will be transferring my domain name to better suit my site, my personality, and for ease of use (let’s face it, I chose quite the name!).  Instead of http://www.MagdaleneOfSeattle.com you can now find my niche in cyber space at www.MagdaleneHart.com.  Isn’t that easier?  I’m streamlining my website to match this blog, my Twitter and my email address.  All email will now be forwarded to my new address, MagdaleneHart@gmail.com .  And don’t worry if you forget, I have a nifty forwarding bot sending me all of my mail from my old address.
  • Vegas-Style Raffles
    • For those on my Twitter feed, I gave a bit of a tantalizing tease on how one could possibly win the chance of 2 hours with me for the small tribute of $50.  Here is the skinny: I have a lovely, kinky, and literary wish list at Amazon.com (feel free to browse, click the link!) and having just moved into a splendid new space, I feel the need to decorate to just my taste.  But I do care about what my clients find alluring, too!  So check it out, pick an item or two, and leave me a sweet note with it with your name and email address.  Your note will be put into a hat, and come April 1st I will draw a lucky winner!  Each entry is based on a dollar amount, $5-50 gets one entry, $51-100 gets two entries, and so on.  I will video my drawing, and post it to my website.  I will also, of course, email the lucky man privately to let him know he’s won two hours to do whatever he wishes!  My drawings will continue quarterly (or until we all get bored) but what a rush!  (Please note that no item on my list is exempt.  Fill my Kindle with e-books if you are so inclined!)
  • Fantasies ala Magdalene
    • You know the love/hate relationship Companions such as myself have about reviews, right?  On the one hand, they drive our business (when glowing and sexy, obviously) and give clients and potential clients a warm fuzzy.  On the other hand, delicate dames such as myself get twitchy when a man gets a little too carried away with the blow-by-blows, and really, any free-form review that blatantly discusses sexual acts can be construed as an admission of illegal activity, and no lady wants that.  So, here’s what I will start doing: I will pluck some of my more favorite reviews from the boards, and recall some of my favorite experiences and re-write them, from my perspective, as erotic fiction.  There is something so deliciously tantalizing about whispering fantasies into a lover’s ear, and this is what I endeavor to do.  Henceforth I will not be acknowledging my reviews, though I won’t go so far as to forbid them.  I know that some gentlemen enjoy stretching their literary muscles and can spin quite a sexy and torrid tale.
  • A bit of 1950s hospitality
    • I have been wanting to offer something like this for quite some time now.  I know that some men haven’t had a home-cooked meal in quite some time.  Of course, going out to dinner is a lovely treat, but sometimes one desires something familiar, intimate, and discreet.  I am pleased to announce that I will be building an exciting lunch and dinner menu, cooked to order and from scratch.  Come dine with me, dressed in my pearls and heels, for a light lunch or hearty dinner.  This add on gives us an extra hour to any session and is only a $100 consideration.  I will require 50% in advance, for supplies and as a solid reservation, and please tell me if you desire a specific meal or require special dietary restrictions.  Also, help me become a better baker by availing yourself to my fresh-baked treats during our session!  Everything from cookies and cake, to bread and pasties.  What better way to come in out of the cold than to smell something delicious in the oven!
  • Brand new media and Members Only!
    • Now, bear with me here, since this is the MOST experimental I’ve ever gotten.  I am weary of hearing “Oh, Magdalene you are so much prettier in person!  Your pictures just don’t do you justice!”  It’s sweet and endearing, but I am always striving for transparency and I always feel like I’m misrepresenting myself in my media.  So, to try and counter that (and, let’s face it, to showcase my personality) I’ve decided to start uploading videos of myself!  Some scantily clad movie reviews, perhaps a sexy baking lesson, a few romantic poetry recitations, you name it!  I will also be setting up a Members Only section on my website, and for a nominal fee you can enjoy a digital strip tease, a tantalizing nude news segment, a proper blow job demonstration, and maybe even an erotic pedicure.  Members will also have access to my digital store, to purchase digital or print copies of my pictures, and be able to download some of your favorite clips.  I will also be accepting special requests through my media site, so if you have ever wanted to see me sudsing up in my bath or cooking breakfast naked, here is your chance.

Whew!  See what I’ve done to myself?  You can call me anything you like, as long as you don’t call me conservative!  This is the most ambitious adventure I’ve ever entered into, and let me remind you that I went through 9 weeks of Basic Training hell and topped it off with a two month-long stint in the Arizona mountains.

Feel free to send me inquiries on time-lines, suggestions, or a funny cat picture to keep my frazzled nerves from coming completely undone.

Kiss kiss!!

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