I am a very big fan of “surreal” cinema. I like watching a movie where you are never quite sure which way is up, what is real, and what is the protagonist imagining? Alice In Wonderland (and Through the Looking Glass) has been a favorite movie of mine since I was young, and the book has always had a special place in my heart.
Then there are movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, where one attempts to delete memories from one’s brain, and the problems that comes with (and, ultimately, would you choose to delete a bad experience from your mind is continually asked and looked at). A Scanner Darkly, The Matrix, The 13th Floor and more movies are all about one’s perceived reality and the “actual” reality outside of them. I love the idea that reality is just a construct, and your reality is no where near my reality.
Where is the eccentric babble coming from?
For the past two weeks I’ve been caring for a family member who recently underwent open heart surgery after a fairly long hospital stay. Everything was so jarring and unrealistic, I couldn’t help but look around and wonder if I was actually experiencing these things. That hospital became my life, and I wasn’t able to enjoy my chosen friends and family because of it. There was no real way to stay connected, as the hospital doesn’t have wifi nor get very good cell signal, so I couldn’t even connect to you, my lovely internet. Emails piled up, Twitter got ignored, and for the life of me I couldn’t even pretend to work on blog posts for you, dear reader.
BUT! There is a silver lining in all things! I’ve realized that I can’t do what “normal” people do. Get up, go to work, come home, wash, rinse, repeat. I need adventure, I need excitement! I took a mini vacation to Bellingham last week, and it was wondrous to get away from “real” life and enjoy hot cocoa by a warm fire and watch The Daily Show (which doesn’t happen near enough) I need change, I need beauty.
So! In honor of this new knowledge (and in keeping with my personal “self love” routine) I am going to go for a walk every day and find something beautiful. In a city like this it shouldn’t be too difficult.
All for now, my loves. Look forward to a more in depth musing soon!