I adore what I do. I get to wake up every day, become the epitome of sensuality, and indulge in the wants, needs, and desires of men. I live for it. I long for it. I often watch people when I’m in public, trying to discern what would make their skin shiver, their mouths water, and their hearts race with passion.
I imagine that my small skill in divining one’s desires comes from two decades of watching people. Sussing out why they did this or that, how gratification works within our social construct. I’m sure my time studying psychology plays a part in understanding motivation, and how the more taboo a thing is, the more we seem to crave it. Last, but not least, my time spent in the Army showed me what longing for something can do to people. How harsh structure and oppressive environments can turn someone into a ravening beast when they are allowed freedom, or it can create someone who is so thankful and grateful for the small kindnesses in life they almost defy expectation.
Some desires are carnal, passionate, obscure or even reckless. Some desires stem from a fantasy one has never fulfilled, or an image one got from a book or movie. Some desires are near-innocent in their nature, but even a softer desire can send one into a kind of frenzy…
Let me tell you a story-
A man comes to me, and in a voice so tentative I have difficulty hearing him, he tells me that though he and his wife are very much in love, she has hit menopause and have become completely disinterested in sex, sexual contact, even the simple physical intimacy of cuddling in bed. She “permits” him to sometimes hold her, but never too tightly, never too long, and if his hands stray she slaps them!
My heart aches for these men. Time and time again, we are shown that physical touch is integral to a mentally healthy person.
The benefits of touch to a person’s health are phenomenal. Touch can reassure, relax and comfort. It reduces depression, anxiety, stress and physical pain; and can be healing. It increases the number of immune cells in the body, and has powerful affects on behaviour and moods.
This was simply the first thing that caught my eye in a Google search, but time after time after time researchers, doctors, and massage therapists show that physical touch lowers blood pressure, increases a sense of well-being, reduces pain and even depression. In absence of touch, humans can experience “skin hunger“, a feeling one gets in the absence of touch or affection after having. And in a society that denies touch, we cut ourselves off to the simple pleasures of affection and the benefits they can give.
What can I do for this skin hungry man who has come to me? Simply put, I touch him. We hug and cuddle, pet and massage. I run my fingers through his hair and he strokes my body. We embrace, skin-to-skin, and just hold each other. I wouldn’t even call it sexual, though it can be. His need for touch superseded sex; sometimes you just want to be held.
He has been my client for over a year, and the change I see in him is remarkable. He’s playful, funny, rambuncious and even cheeky. He tells me that he’s come to terms with his wife’s emotional abandonment, and has reconnected with his children and extended family. Though he no longer “needs” me, in the sense that he needed me a year ago, he comes back again and again. His reasoning? “Sometimes I just want to fool around,”
I guess that’s not something you can do with your family.